It’s been five years since my grandmother died of lymphoma.
“Abuela,” we all used to call her. She was the life of family gatherings and now we’ve gradually learned to live without her.
The uniqueness of our family, and dare I say most Latin families, is that we are a close knit. Like a hand-knit sweater, a slight snag in our familial pattern and the whole piece falls apart.
Knitting comes to mind because Abuela loved knits, so much so that she was buried in the vibrant purple beanie my boyfriend hand-knit for her as a Christmas gift. Abuela loved her beanie and we loved Abuela for being unconventional and covering her white locks in wool during those hot summer Los Angeles days. But mostly, I loved Abuela for accepting people for who they are, including me and welcoming my boyfriend into the family and graciously wearing his beanie as a sign of love and acceptance. Abuela loved purple and in wearing that beanie she quietly showed her love for me.
As mother’s day is just a few days away I’ve been thinking a lot about Abuela, the nucleus of our family. Having just returned from Los Angeles, I missed seeing her at all the family functions I attended.
During my last evening in Los Angeles, my mother shared something over dinner that has stuck with me ever since. Just a few days before her death, Abuela asked my mother to take her outside, to the sidewalk, “I want to see life!” she exclaimed.
We are lucky to be able to see life on a daily basis, but unfortunately we often get caught up in the mundane that we miss out on the daily wonders and beauty each day brings. I’ve been pondering over this and I too want to see life. It is never too late to open your eyes and take it all in. Try it. You’ll be amazed.
As promised, here is a reblog of my cousin’s blog post. I hope you all found some inspiration from it, whether it be small or large. xx
Inspiration comes from the strangest places sometimes…
It is currently 10:21PM in Los Angeles and I’ve been meaning to consciously write this post for the past couple of hours, subconsciously for the past three days.
Some of you may or may not know, but most people of Hispanic heritage celebrate Mother’s Day on May 10th. So early last Friday morning I received an email from my cousin with a link to a blog post he had written about my late grandmother. I tearfully read what he wrote remembering the woman who loved everyone of her grandchildren except for me. I was always her trouble grandchild for some reason haha. However the memories of my grandmother aren’t what stuck, it was how well written my cousin wrote his blog post (I’ll repost it after this for you all to read and learn a lesson as well).
With his creativity fresh in my mind I started viewing things differently over the last three days and today everything finally clicked. I was driving down the 101 South on my way to Hollywood, it was 104 out, the sun was shining as bright as ever, and “Sweet Disposition” by The Temper Trap came on the radio. Everything just clicked.
I’ve been in a rut the past couple of months confused about life, becoming an adult, starting a new life, etc. But for just a few moments all the thoughts and stress left. All I could think of was how beautiful it was out and how lucky I was to be enjoying the drive, even with the scalding hot weather!
I thought once again about what my cousin had written and how I needed to live life. I’m only 23 and I’m about to graduate from school. I have a whole life ahead of me to live. I can be anyone I want to be, wherever I want to be. It might be hard at times, but I just need to learn how to persevere through it all.